Something to do with Being Awesome

I am currently applying for a honor through Phi Delta Kappa called Emerging Leaders. I am trying to wrangle up some letters of recommendation, polish up my curriculum vitae, and write some snazzy things about myself. I’d really like the honor, not just because I work hard at my job, but because I LOVE my job, want to move forward with my career, and eventually publish something. If I receive the Emerging Leader Award, I’ll have the chance to publish my thesis in PDK! Fingers crossed. I am not the most qualified person for the award, but I am pretty awesome, and I think some of that will come across in my recommendation letters and personal statements.

Also, homework. Metric butt-tons of it. That’s 3.5 standard butt-tons.

Jogging in the Real World is Tough

I went on my first, non-treadmill run on Saturday.  Up the hill to Phinney (holy crap, was that hard), then going north one black and back down the hill until I got back to the apartment.  It was almost exactly one mile, and boy did I feel it the next day.  My shins were killing me, but my hips felt loose this time – a decided improvement.  Thanks again to Josh for the running shoes!  So far, I’ve lost 14 pounds all told, and I can feel the Levothroid helping already.  I have much more energy in the morning, and I can actually see the scale move.

I’ve been going to the gym in the mornings now, because after I get down with work and grad classes, the only thing I want to do is lie down on the couch and zen out.  The downside, of course, is getting up at 6am.  Blah.

Long time, no see.

Well, some doin’s have been a transpiring in Shilohville lately, and I feel the need to expel some of my brain sludge to make room for more, well, brain sludge. After four years, Joe has proposed to me and we are now engaged to be married. We are tentatively setting a date around the month of August, in 2011. The wedding and reception will be taking place in Anacortes complete with karaoke and various other wacky madness. We have a tight budget, but with our Army of Crafty Friends, I think we’ll be able to pull something together that will be quite brimming with awesomeness.

The proposal was an emotional affair. He proposed atop a large hill at Rosario Beach in Deception Pass State park, and I surprisingly cried, seeing that I am not much for happy tears. What I wasn’t at all prepared for was the surprise engagement party awaiting us at the local Anacortes bowling alley, complete with all of my local friends. Talk about cognitive dissonance. My brain basically melted, and I cried like a baby.

Shock and Awe

Joe Smooches

Showing the Bling

Designed by the man himself

Oh dear readers, be prepared for the deluge of wedding madness that will ensue.

The Grind is Apt

It’s amazing how wholly consuming the basic, necessary activities of life can be.  I get up, go to work, then gym, then home, cook, clean, sleep and repeat.  Where is the fun?  Where is the spontaneity?  When do I get ME time?  I don’t have kids, just a boyfriend, a few cats and some houseplants, and somehow my life has become the most unbearable grind. I suspect work is the culprit.  It seems like all my coworkers, myself included, are being worked like never before, and are getting even less credit for our accomplishments than ever.  I am so deprived of motivation.  The only reason I feel like showing up at all is for my students, many of whom don’t get any positive reinforcement in their lives with my comments and attention being the only exception.  I am pretty sure that sounds conceited, and it would be were it not true.

I accidentally took two doses of my medication today, which caused me to tweak out right proper.  I don’t believe I actually sat down until 2PM.  This has led to a more increased level of exhaustion than I normally experience, powerful enough that now I am actually sitting, I cannot will myself to rise again, even though I have to pee.

Joe’s nephew was born yesterday, which is joyous and lovely, but makes me fear the eventual bearing of my own children.  I am barely capable of taking care of my cats.  I live paycheck to paycheck.  I often consume nothing but coffee and peanut butter on a given day.  I usually work 10-11 hours a day, and when I get home, I want nothing to do with anyone.  I love children, and I love my students, but I’m pretty sure I will want nothing to do with my own kids.

paramount

long-term goals include

marriage masters house

start a family start a business

sobriety paramount

mindfulness

one day one step

why can’t I stay on top of my committments?

avoidance drugs my brain

naturally occuring neurotransmitters of doom

there is a brain barrier every step of the way

when to fight, when to fly?